JANUARY SIGNING CONFIRMED! Specialist in Failure, Ed Woodward, signs PR agency to create Fake News around #GlazerOut & #WoodwardOut Fan Backlash!

You heard it here first, Manchester United fans! Ed Woodward has pulled off the signing of the January transfer window, with one of the biggest coups in recent history. Bruno Fernandes, perhaps? How about Jadon Sancho? Hell, an over-the-hill Edison Cavani would be welcome by most fans at this point. Keep dreaming Reds.

Actually, Woodward and Glazers haven’t signed a player at all, as it looks increasingly likely they won’t strengthen in January. Instead, Eddy, Specialist in Failure, Woodward has decided to beef-up the fake news department at MUTV with the signing of Neil Ashton’s (formerly of the Sun) PR agency, as new a consultant.

With a depleted and injury ravaged squad, the top brass at United is more worried about quelling the growing #GlazerOut sentiment than investing in the team, as they push for Top 4 and trophies. With the most successful club in English history in absolute free-fall, Woodward is more concerned about spinning the narrative around his incompetence than building a winning side.

Dark days are truly upon us. When a football club as prestigious and storied as Manchester United cares more about spinning (the news) than winning, they have clearly lost sight of everything they should hold dear. Protest the Glazers, protest Woodward and the Board, because now it is up to fans to save the club they love, before it is too late.

About Alex 67 Articles
My name is Alex and I am a co-host of the American Red Devils podcast, and discovered the greatest football club in the world freshman year in highschool, after playing FIFA '99 on Nintendo 64. Originally it was the red hair of Paul Scholes that caught my attention, given the four Gingers in my family, but I never knew a redhead could ball like Scholesy. However, what really sucked me in was the arrival of Wayne Rooney at the club, to this day my all-time favorite player. I was lucky enough to witness my first game at Old Trafford in '07 while studying abroad, witnessing the 4-0 thrashing of Wigan. I rented a car and drove down for the day from Edinburgh to Manchester and back (NYC to Boston twice), driving on the wrong side of the car and the road! Lucky enough to be in Sunderland to see Zlatan's last United goal and in London to see Matic's stoppage time screamer at Selhurst. Honored and privileged to be a Manchester United fan.

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