The Prodigal Son Returns? Ronaldo to United?! Here We Go!!!

Viva Ronaldo

What a 24 hours. Football, bloody hell. This “jogo bonito” giveth and taketh as it pleases with no rhyme nor reason. One day you’re listening to John and Alex manufacture their contingency plan for CR7 jerseys if City do the unthinkable, the next you’re furiously updating twitter to see if a contract offer has been made. Could it be true? Is Fergie’s Prodigal Son finally returning home? Is Ronaldo a Red once again? Could it be

Honestly, I woke up late today because its Friday, and work has been kicking the shit out of me recently. As a habit I check twitter to see what nonsense is coming out of muppetry accounts for United how DVB should leave, how United should just get Neves or Camavinga, or why Paul Pogba is god’s greatest creation or the devil’s #1 minion. It’s exhausting to keep up with it all. To my surprise, Fabrizio woke up and chose violence today. “Fuck Man City, Ronaldo and Jorge Mendes pull out of City deal,” is pretty much what he said verbatim. With that bomb dropping, there wasn’t much time to think before another came out.

Some Quick Logic

I mean What The Fuck. The unthinkable just might happen. When you think about it logically, there is no other option. Spain is dusted after Messi left, PSG probably have $0 in the bank account to afford more superstar wages after adding the aforementioned Argentine, who even cares about Germany, and City just pulled out. There is no other option for a player who’s team just came out and said, “He is not rejoining the team.”

Football, bloody hell. I am now furiously checking twitter every few minutes to get an update from our Transfer Profit, Fabrizio. Please say those three words. Pretty please.



Let that sink in. This fucking club know how to pull on my heart strings. In the waning hours of the summer transfer window, United pulled a fucking rabbit out of the hat. Hi-jacking those Shitty neighbors from the other side of the city and landing the world’s greatest player (miss me with that Messi bullshit). This blog is probably borderline incoherent at this point, but I cannot contain my joy. I had to stop a work call and hang up on it to let out a big


Title Town Loading

I’ll be honest for a second; I don’t think United “wanted” this signing, but they “needed” it. Let’s face it, before this transfer window, United had a loads of talent, but they were a bunch of losers (respectfully). I’m not sure if any first team player from last year won a whole lot with their club. Winning a game in any sport is not easy. Winning a title is borderline impossible. I don’t think last year’s team knows what it takes to win serious silverware. There are levels to professional sports in terms of performance. I believe signing Ronaldo will instill an excitement, and a willingness to perform and succeed AT ALL COSTS. Real talk, footballers don’t come more dedicated and willing to do whatever is necessary than Ronaldo. This man has done it ALL. He has succeeded in every situation he finds himself in, and I think he will whip this team into shape. His sheer work ethic and presence will bring silverware to this club again!

I’ve caught myself rambling a little too much, but I think this best describes my emotions on Ronaldo coming back to United and pushing for #21.

P.S. People wanted to applaud Cavani for not giving up the #7 to Sancho, but surely Ronaldo is swiping that clean off his back , right? I am almost positive that has to be a contingency in the agreement.

About JR 58 Articles
A glimpse inside the mind of an over-reactionary, over-invested, and highly-sarcastic American Red Devil. P.S. I'm not here to argue.

1 Trackback / Pingback

  1. Cristiano Ronaldo Re-signs for Manchester United | Is This Real Life?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.